Entertainment, Guest Authors, Humor

Porn for Women
(But Apparently Not All Women)

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Oh, stop it.

We cannot believe the uproar caused by our little book, Porn for Women! It wasn’t like we invaded a sovereign Middle Eastern country, or single handedly brought back leggings! People, please calm down.

Most of you love our porn. But, apparently, some of you hate our porn. And some of you just can’t make up your minds. So, today I’ll step out of the Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative’s (CWPC) lab to address a few of the negative comments our book has received. Maybe in the end you’ll warm to our cold hard facts.

Complaint #1: Porn for Women implies that this porn will appeal to all women because women respond sexually as one robotic Borg. OK, I admit that we took some artistic license with the title. We toyed with Porn for Lots and Lots of Women, Porn for Most of the Women We Know, and Porn for Women, Except for the Women for Whom This Porn Isn’t. None of them quite had the ring of Porn for Women.

Seriously, aren’t we getting a little bit picky here? Do you think that the person who wrote The Dangerous Book for Boys was certain that all his ideas would in fact appeal to all boys? (Actually, judging by its freakishly rapid sales, maybe he did). No. Look, we tested this porn. We had actual women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and political bents come to our laboratories and view images. We had sensors, heart rate monitors, and all kinds of bio feedback devices. We found that stuff like this:

Figure #1:

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I love a clean house

was more appealing to most women than this:

Figure #2:

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Bottom line: this book is based on hard science. Rock hard science.

So we can’t apologize for the breadth of our material’s appeal. It simply IS appealing to a lot of women (OK, OK, not every single woman). It may not be for you, but a lot of us think this stuff:

Figure #3:

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I like to get to these things before I have to be asked

is totally hot.

Next time we’ll address this question: is Porn for Women belittling women’s real needs by turning us into domestically obsessed, easy-to-please, empty-headed lap dogs? My goodness, we’ll have to think about that one.

-Gloria, Lab Manager, CWPC

Have something to say to us at the CWPC? Please post a comment below.

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22 Comments

  • Jane L. June 25, 2007 at 7:21 pm

    I have actually seen some web sites picking this book apart as though they’re a thesis committee and the author is presenting an academic paper. Sheesh! It’s good ol’ fashion goofy fun. And I laugh every time at the guy scooping the kitty litter box (get the book to see this page).

    I gave this book to my mom, my sister, my nieces, friends. Everyone peed their pants. Feminists all.

    Reply

  • Jaime June 26, 2007 at 7:50 am

    But why resort to cliches, aren’t we open to more explicit forms of stimulation – or are such images still only the domain of the male gaze? I get it, the book is for fun, but where is the real good stuff these days for us who can appreciate both..?

    Reply

  • Holly G July 7, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    It wouldn’t be so funny if weren’t so true! The idea of not having to ask my husband to take the trash to the curb every single Tuesday… that’s better than porn.

    Reply

  • Alejandro July 14, 2007 at 9:51 am

    My girlfriend just told me about this book and I find it hilarious! I am going to buy it for her, and by experience I KNOW this is the kind of stuff that turns her on… or at least warms up her heart.

    Reply

  • D July 25, 2007 at 11:40 am

    What a great idea….the critics who are ripping this fun little book apart need to loosen up a bit….this is girls fun plain and simple. No need to “read” too much into it. I know for a fact none of my girlfriends husbands and or partners do much around the house so when they do, it is indeed a major turn on…..and like a previous poster said, when we are not totally stressed out by the house, work, money, kids, pets, in-laws and a myriad of other niggling details in our lives….we might actually have time and be in the frame of mind for some real passion! Great Job…Loved It!

    Reply

  • Dating Goddess August 3, 2007 at 7:33 pm

    I love the book’s images and intelligent humor. I’d like to review it for my blog, Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40. How may I get permission to post a page or two?

    Dating Goddess
    http://www.DatingGoddess.com

    Reply

  • Suzanne T. August 22, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    So opinions that favor your book, Porn for Women, are “worthy” and those that differ are, well, gosh, just reactionary? Please. Your title team picked the most incendiary, attention-getting title possible because, like the porn industry itself, in publishing the bottom line is what really matters. Despite what feminist revisionists—who have NEVER visited a typical drug-addled, underworld-populated porn video shoot—say, Chronicle has no respect whatever for the quite valid contention that the porn industry violates and degrades participants and viewers alike.
    I’ll be taking my name off your emailed newsletter list.
    Signed,
    A Dyed-in-the-Wool 70s-Era Feminist, Mother, Grandmother, and Author

    Reply

  • Bitter Tonic August 26, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    Wow…I know that you can’t please everyone, but it sure seems people expect a lot of one little humor book.

    The way I understood the title was in the comic principle of setting something up, and then delivering the opposite, or something totally unexpected.

    When we open this book, we find the “porn” is quite different than what we expect to find.
    That’s the joke.

    This “porn” is still as fantasy-based as the other one. That’s the rub.

    My older sister’s and their friends just loved this book. They howled, then conversed, thought and deliberated – and grew – closer, wiser, stronger. That’s the power of humor for you.

    So I say good job. There’s lots of room for all kinds of books. There’s lots more room for all kinds of women’s voices. Keep on talking, writing and filling up the shelves and airwaves, everyone.

    Reply

  • Jonathan November 24, 2007 at 2:38 am

    Congrats on your clever marketing scheme. The women who are giggling and bonding over this book are the same women who know they will have to clean the house anyway. Otherwise, no one would be laughing, right? We’re not laughing. I share all of the household chores with my wife, not because I’m an exceptional man, but because it’s my responsibility. You say that you used sensors, heart rate monitors, and all kinds of bio feedback devices on a bunch of women…what women? Did you find a group afflicted with the rare men in aprons fetish? Anyhoo, bravo for capitalizing on (thus helping to stagnate)an area in life which is so necessary to our evolution as a species. Your book made me feel so dirty that from now on I’m going to start doing the dishes with my pants and shirt on.

    erotically yours,
    Jonathan

    Reply

  • Eddie December 13, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    Hi Guys, My Wife and her mates love this book. In fact I do too! My sexy factor went up when she realised all the things I actually do are in the book. Except of course asking for directions. Honestly it was very refreshing and an intelligent abstract look at life. Cheers

    Reply

  • Mendum Gals January 14, 2008 at 10:24 am

    This book was so much fun to read. I think those who negatively criticize it need to stop taking things so seriously. This was light, simple and fun. Most over-40 women can relate to this and find that men who keep their clothes on are often more sexy than those who shed them all. We look forward to the next edition and would love to contribute some suggestions toward it.

    Reply

  • Meg February 21, 2008 at 7:22 am

    Do you sell these by the case. I think every woman I know needs one for their coffee table…every birthdya from now on gets some porn!

    Reply

  • Elizabeth Skates February 26, 2008 at 7:57 am

    On Valentine’s Day I bought myself a rose, some chocolates and settled down to read your book. I loved it! A good time was had by all! I’m going to give a copy to my best friend for her birthday. Hope you write another one.

    Reply

  • Miss Em July 29, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    Porn for Women is a treat, a feast, a delicious twist. The fact that a man would be so playful and helpful really tickles my fancy. Only a REAL MAN could figure that one out. Yee Haw!

    Reply

  • Rodeo August 3, 2008 at 7:01 am

    I guess “Porn for Husbands and Significant Others of Some Women” would be pictures of those women having a sense of humor.

    Reply

  • BWIN October 9, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    Actually, “Porn for Husbands…” could be women with a sense of humor, but only if they had very little else on. Get real.

    Reply

  • Tildy October 30, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    When I saw this book in a bookstore I chuckled and dismissed it as just another piece of humorous fluff, like the fridge magnets that say “I love a man with dishpan hands” and other assorted jokes about housework. It’s all just post-ironic these days, isn’t it?, especially for the affluents who can afford to shop where these things are sold. But after reading these comments I’m starting to think the CWPC is actually pretty smart. In a review of the book I read one woman saying that when her partner does housework “it makes me feel emotionally close to him, and that’s a turnon”; someone else attempts to shoot her down by saying that that leaves actual sex out of the equation, and thus the book implies that women prefer tidiness to sex. By stimulating discussions like these the CWPC gets us to question our ideas of what’s erotic and the ways our mediatized culture tells us we should think about sex, to imagine that more than just the usual erotica cliches might be sexy, that *intimacy* might be sexy – and that women – and men – feel desires more complex than porn and erotica show, i.e. that the head and the heart, as well as the body, are involved in sex. A blow for the sisterhood indeed. You go, grrlz.

    Reply

  • Jennifer Miller March 10, 2009 at 6:30 am

    Well, all I can say is, I think this is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in awhile. I definitely have to get a copy! I think I’m going to get a copy of “Porn for New Moms” for my sister… I’m throwing her a baby shower next month, and I think it’ll make the perfect gift. I’m only throwing her the shower because, this is her first girl after having two boys. While she does need some things, she’s not completely empty-handed in the baby department. However, a laugh like this would have been one of the best gifts I could have received while I was pregnant with my girls! :-p

    It reminds me of something I heard Joel Hodgson of Mystery Science Theater 3000 say once:

    We don’t think, “who will get this?” We think, “Will the right people get this?”

    Reply

  • KO July 8, 2009 at 11:54 am

    Yeah, but where’s the actual porn? Sigh, back to the Internet….

    It’s only funny if your man never helps you do anything. Seems cynical.

    Reply

  • John July 14, 2010 at 9:57 am

    I think this is a wonderful project. It is a given in most situations that not everyone dances to the same music. With all the diversity in this world there is room for all sort of people. My suggestion to those who don't like this, WRITE YOUR OWN!!! Once you get into the author's saddle, you'll see what an author is up against. Ultimately, those for whom the book was written will apreciate it. The rest of you can MOVE ON to something YOU enjoy. Freedom of Speech is fine; but when all you do is critisize others for something you are likely incapable of yourself… well, it's a lot like masturbation… while it takes care of the problem, it is always less satisfying than the 'real thing'…

    One point I've learned over the years: Men use porn as the vehicle of release. Women use porn as a means of stimulating desire… then they go find a suitable partner to satisfy their true urges.

    Always remember this: a good fantasy is sometimes better than the reality it represents. That is why it sells so good.

    Of course, this is just my opinion; I could be wrong.

    Reply

  • Esme November 14, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    I thought this book was one of the funniest books I had read in awhile-It is a quick light read and even my husband saw the humor in it.

    Reply

  • mele December 3, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    I think this is hilarious!!!

    Reply

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