The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story
“The Gift of the Magi.”
“‘Twas the Night before Christmas.”
“The Santa Clause 4: The Questionable Legal Ramifications of a Putting on a Dead Guy’s Suit.”
Each of these stories has been cherished by generations for how they perfectly capture the joy and wonder of the season. But each of these stories has been cited for omitting a key component of almost everyone’s holiday memory—the family pet. So without further ado, I would like to correct that glaring omission in the Christmas canon by offering my own holiday tale about my cat Natasha, simply titled…
A Holiday Cat Story
Every year my cat Natasha would sit right next to the Christmas tree, stare at the lowest-hanging ornament she could find, and slowly raise her paw.
And every year I would say, “Tasha! No!” and Natasha would lower her paw.
Then two seconds later—perhaps believing enough time had passed for society as we knew it to crumble and a new set of rules for civilization to be decreed—Natasha would again slowly raise her paw.
And so again I would have to yell, “Tasha! No!”—in a tone I found quite authoritative but others have described as “delightfully panicky’—and Natasha would lower her paw once more.
Then barely half a second later—as if the toaster were also named “Tasha” and I had been calling out to it instead, perhaps for neglecting its own crumb tray—Tasha would raise her paw once more.
And once more I would exclaim. “Tasha! No!” only to watch as Natasha slowly turned her head and stared at me unblinkingly until even the nearby houseplant could detect the sudden shift in power…
Before she smacked the crap out of the ornament and ran out of the room in what I can only imagine she considered her victory parade.
It’s nice to have holiday traditions.
For more about the joys of living with cats all year-round, be sure to check out all of Francesco Marciuliano’s books here. As for preparing for the holidays with humans, we suggest you download these adorable holiday gift tags to adorn your presents with the purrfect accessories.
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