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The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

Francesco Marciuliano, author of the New York Times bestseller I Could Pee on This and the new I Could Pee on This, Too, illustrated a holiday cat story that will ring true for cat-owners everywhere. 

“The Gift of the Magi.”

“‘Twas the Night before Christmas.”

“The Santa Clause 4: The Questionable Legal Ramifications of a Putting on a Dead Guy’s Suit.”

Each of these stories has been cherished by generations for how they perfectly capture the joy and wonder of the season. But each of these stories has been cited for omitting a key component of almost everyone’s holiday memory—the family pet. So without further ado, I would like to correct that glaring omission in the Christmas canon by offering my own holiday tale about my cat Natasha, simply titled…

THE ORNAMENT

A Holiday Cat Story

The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

Every year my cat Natasha would sit right next to the Christmas tree, stare at the lowest-hanging ornament she could find, and slowly raise her paw.

The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

And every year I would say, “Tasha! No!” and Natasha would lower her paw.

The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

Then two seconds later—perhaps believing enough time had passed for society as we knew it to crumble and a new set of rules for civilization to be decreed—Natasha would again slowly raise her paw.

The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

 And so again I would have to yell, “Tasha! No!”—in a tone I found quite authoritative but others have described as “delightfully panicky’—and Natasha would lower her paw once more. The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

Then barely half a second later—as if the toaster were also named “Tasha” and I had been calling out to it instead, perhaps for neglecting its own crumb tray—Tasha would raise her paw once more. The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

And once more I would exclaim. “Tasha! No!” only to watch as Natasha slowly turned her head and stared at me unblinkingly until even the nearby houseplant could detect the sudden shift in power… The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

Before she smacked the crap out of the ornament and ran out of the room in what I can only imagine she considered her victory parade. The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

It’s nice to have holiday traditions.
The Ornament: A Holiday Cat Story

For more about the joys of living with cats all year-round, be sure to check out all of Francesco Marciuliano’s books here. As for preparing for the holidays with humans, we suggest you download these adorable holiday gift tags to adorn your presents with the purrfect accessories.

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