Our backyard finally gave up this year.
The small patch of grass was never much to look at but truthfully my husband and I pretty much ignored it after our kids were born. Sure, there may have been one too many games of croquet since then, with small boys pummeling the grass with mallets. And my husband’s concern for drought-ridden California may have contributed to the yard’s decline. But though the grass we had was ugly, tough on the feet, and filled with creepy crawlies, it always plumped up a bit as the winter rains collected.
This winter we waited and waited for the grass to return and it just never did. Instead we had to finally admit that it was dead and we now had a patch of dirt for a backyard.
We hired a nice guy named Jim to kill off the remaining bermuda grass and start our lawn anew. From the moment he saw our backyard, Jim knew he wanted to work with us. Jim likes grass well enough, but he loves maples, and when he set eyes on our Japanese maple, it was love at first sight. The same tree that we’d planted ten years ago, that always looked scraggly to us and that had grown maybe six inches in a decade — this same tree was gorgeous to Jim.
So from day one, he was committed to beautifying our land (read: our overgrown backlot). He pruned back camellias, dug out ugly shrubs, and cleaned up our lemon trees. He even convinced us to let him plant some lavender bushes. But the grass remained our main goal: We missed being able to tell the kids to “go outside and play.” Happily, when Jim was done, our lawn was born again-after 10 years of neglect it was transformed into this lush expanse of beautiful, soft-on-the-feet, picnic-possible Kentucky bluegrass.
Its beauty didn’t last long. Unfortunately, I didn’t factor into the equation how lazy we really are. Somehow it never occurred to us that we’d have to water every day. Within the first few days the lavender bushes were dying and the edges of our sod squares were browning.
Jim came by to check on his work and mentioned to my husband that watering every day was important. A few more days passed and Jim was back imploring us to water constantly while he was away for a month. He was actually giving us a guilt trip to save his work, as if the cost alone weren’t enough of an incentive.
So we watered.
But then the raccoons and possums figured out they could simply lift a square of sod to chow down on all the tasty worms, ants, spiders and those creepy-crawlies that lived beneath. For several weeks now I’ve awoken to my husband’s expletives as he watched the fattest, most brazen raccoon finally mosey off to bed, leaving the sod squares tossed about. Which doesn’t exactly lead to the yard taking root.
We now have plastic lawn chairs scattered over the squares to deter the nighttime wildlife but the raccoons aren’t fooled and I can’t say we’re up for more extreme measures. (If anyone has any humane advice, please post a comment.) Every morning my husband tamps down the squares and moves the chairs so the sprinklers will spray the grass fully. And every night my kids and I water the lavender bushes.
It’s astonishing how something as simple as growing grass can best you. (Is it too embarrassing to buy a book on how to grow grass?) I always laughed at my parents’ determination to keep those dandelions off the grass but now I see how the obsession builds. Creating order in your square of nature behind the house can be extraordinarily frustrating once you start.
So where are we? Well, the lavender bushes are on their own, but we’re invested in the grass. Yet we’re struggling; this morning the raccoons dug up 15 more squares and it’s the hottest day this spring so the grass is probably browning as I type this. I guess we’ll keep watering and hoping that the raccoons find dinner in a trash can elsewhere. But we’re marking time, waiting to see what will actually help and what’s just watering something too far gone.
Though I had fantasies of making a racetrack or bullseye pattern (below) in my grass for the kids, I’d be just as happy to make it through summer without losing the lawn entirely.
And I hope that Jim comes back from his long trip soon so that it’s not just us saving the lawn, so that someone who really knows grass can help us help it take root.
And here’s the Bull’s-Eye pattern from Lawnscapes:
The bull’s-eye design is mown in semicircles so that each ring is a uniform color. Laying the guide string is the only real problem, but this can be overcome with the aid of an improvised compass.
You will need
String
Small stakes
Lawn rake
1 Push a stake firmly into the ground in the center of your lawn area. Measure a length of string to the radius of the outer curve, and loop it around the stake. Tie the other end around a marker stake and use it to position a circular string guide on the ground, checking the radius every few feet.
2 Alternatively, tie the compass string to the inner edge of the mower–but take care not to pull against it too hard.
3 Use the compass to establish the outermost curve of your design. Mow the inner curves from this curve.
4 Position your mower at the farthest point of the bull’s-eye, directly opposite the viewpoint. Mow in a curve toward the viewpoint to create a semicircle.
5 Turn and mow a second semicircle inside the first one.
6 Now cross over and mow the outer semicircle on the other side. At the end, turn around and mow a second semicircle inside this one.
7 Cross over again, and mow a third semicircle inside the second on this side. Continue the process until you have completed all the circles.
Use a rake to neaten the turning points at the ends of each semicircle.
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