Finding my Village
November 6th, 2007 | Tracey Clark | Guest Authors, Home
Motherhood ain’t easy. Maybe that’s why there’s the old saying “it takes a village.” I believe that just might be true, but I guess I wouldn’t really know. Although thankfully, I do have a lot of family close by, it doesn’t mean I have any fellow villagers to lean on during a 3 a.m. crying jag, or when I’m desperately trying to figure out what kind of bizarre virus my kids have brought home from school. Enter the blogosphere—the closest thing to a village that this modern-day mom can find. Reading what other mothers share in their blogs has been a lifeline for me. It even inspired me to begin my own blog (which led to a second, and soon a third). I’m a blog writer and a blog reader, yes. I am also an author, and a photographer. My creative diversions are the safety net under the tightrope of motherhood. What else can I say?
So, what’s in a mom blog? Stories of poopy diapers, tantrums, or how to get your kids to eat their vegetables? Sometimes. But as I see it, mom blogs can offer a crapload more than that. Excuse the pun. Or if you’re a mom, appreciate it.
Although some moms may write posts about the mind-numbing tedium of daily life with children, the way these stories are brought to life aren’t at all tedious. Much like some of the honest and poignant books in the motherhood genre, the mom blogs I enjoy are an outpouring of the raw emotion that emerges from long days and sleepless nights—each post is being shared as a means of reaching out amidst the darkness of mother isolation. As I read these blogs, I breathe in the affirmation “I am not alone.” Powerfully charged by a cocktail of the conflicting energies of love, loss, exhaustion and elation, some of these blogs offer irreverence and absurdity that literally cracks us up, allowing a refreshing burst of humor to soothe our battle wounds. And still other mom blogs illuminate the deepest trenches of motherhood with blinding beauty and hope. Being of creative heart and mind, I also seek refuge in the visual delights and inspirations offered by some other blogs I frequent.
So, if you ever find yourself wondering what’s really in a mom blog (or a any blog written by a mother) go read for yourself or pop over to Alpha Mom’s Keyboard Confidential interviews where a number of bloggers (myself included) talk mom stuff, because nobody besides a mom is going to tell you what really happens when the shit hits the fan.
Got a favorite mom blog? Share a link in the comments below and you’ll be included in a random drawing to win a Chronicle mom book of your choice. No, you don’t have to be a mom to win.
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Oh, there are so many good mom blogs!
my daily reads include (but are not limited to)
Oh The Joys — http://www.ohthejoys.blogspot.com
Crazedparent — crazedparent.org
Table for Five — table4five.net and
Random acts of Motherhood — randomactsofmotherhood.blogspot.com
Thank you so much! You speak the truth and it’s wonderful to hear. The mom blogging community is a fantastically supportive, witty and loving group. I’ve met some great women, read some wonderful snark and sympathized with the stories of bitten nipples, poop painted walls and kidisms! More people should realize the power and wonder that is the mom blogging community.
I love my blog personally *wink, wink* but I’ve come across an adorably funny new mom blog recently so I’ll put her site here: http://www.fussypants.typepad.com
I agree with what you wrote about the wonderful community of “mom” blogs out there…
I am a SAHD blog…does that count?
Bradley
The Egel Nest
Although I am not a Mom myself, I support and read the blogs of my dear friends that are. As a woman navigating my way through the many possibilities of life, finding resources to keep me connected and also to give honesty to the daily trials and joys of motherhood is so refreshing. I’m so grateful for the inspirations, fits of madness, laughter and growth that people like you share.
Thank you!
what a great post. I enjoy so many but a really unique, funny and refreshing blog is voteforbecki.com also
blessednest.blogspot.com
Thanks for the contest!
I don’t feel as lonely when I am surrounded by the great bloggers of the internet. I have found a great community who supports me, listens to me, and helps me when I need it. And sometimes they laugh with me when I tell them about the fun life of a stay at home mom.
I love reading mom blogs. I haven’t started one yet as I don’t consider myself a writer but I have quite the list in my feed reader.
Well, I love slurpinglife.typepad.com and themomcrowd.com!
Tracey,
That was simply beautiful.
Thank you for participating in and posting the video we took of you.
One mom that has hit my radar that is on my daily reads is Belinda at http://www.ninjapoodles.com
Isabel
Without this community I would have been so lost. I used to just enjoy blogs by both moms, dads and others - but lately it’s become so much more than entertainment or solidarity. Your choice of the word ‘village’ is so perfect, Tracey. I’m truly honoured to be in such company, and to know you.
I love reading mom blogs too. There are so many out there it’s easy to get caught up. I sometimes get lost reading all of them and have to remind myself that it’s way past my bedtime!!
There are too many good blogs to list here…from Emma Bug to Slurping Life to, yes, even Dooce, I love them all. I’ve got my blogroll up on my site…and there are a ton of them!
love the mom blogs since i’m in the thick of it myself. i love this one http://fiddledeedee.net/
and this one http://frogandtoadarestillfriends.blogspot.com/.
This was wonderful Tracey. You inspire me constantly with your work and with your drive. Forget the universe: I want to know: How do YOU do it?
Loved your interview on Alpha Mom. As I’ve told you before, you’re a natural on camera. Get an agent – look out Oprah!
I read a ton of blogs, but I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t list my fellow Gulf Coasters here.
http://www.velveteenmind.com
http://www.queenofshake-shake.blogspot.com
http://www.playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.blogspot.com
Here are a few of my favorites.
http://www.pmku.net
http://milkbreathandmargaritas.blogspot.com/
http://quietlyshoutinginside.blogspot.com/
What I think I’ve found most intriguing about the mommyblogs I read are that the women, while from all different walks of life and even different countries, all seem to focus on doing the right thing by their kids. Are some of us snarky? Oh, yeah. But when you’re surrounded by kids, a degree of snarkiness (sp?) is required. We love the kids. We want to remember these times, good and bad. And no one is as brilliant and attentive to detail and empathetic as the delicious BubandPie (http://www.bubandpie.blogspot.com).
hi!
I’m not a mom but read some mom’s blog!
I love reading this one. It’s in Portuguese but it’s also in English if you click translate: http://www.aervilhacorderosa.com/
manela
Gosh, there are so many WONDERFUL mom blogs. Two of my favorites are:
Sweet / Salty
http://ingliseast.typepad.com/ingliseast/
and
Woulda Coulda Shoulda
http://www.wouldashoulda.com/
The blog community is a great “village”. You can laugh, cry, sream, get great info with other mother’s without having to leave the comfort of your home. The Mom blogs I visit the most are:
http://www.notesfromthetrenches.com/
http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/
http://joyunexpected.com/
aw, i feel so honored to be listed as a favorite tracey. The feeling is mutual. And I can’t say enough about the online (addiction) community that is the mom-blog. I’ve learned so much, been inspired beyond measure, and decided that I might be slightly normal after all. (maybe). Thanks for the great article Tracey!
My favorite is http://www.julia.typepad.com After 13 miscariages, she is pregnant with twins while raising her kindergarten-aged, massively precocious son, Patrick. Throw in the constant remodeling activities of her husband and her worries about teachers, neighbors and friendships and you’ve got very compelling reader. I wished she lived here as i would enjoy being her friend.
Thank you for writing this–mom blogs have become a huge part of my social network! (when you have an hour a day, between 9-10pm, you don’t have many other choices). The internet has the advantage of always being “open”, and I love that everyone can communicate with each other, but each one on her own schedule!
We (the Rookie Moms) started our blog because we found motherhood to be isolating, frustrating and a bit boring. (Note: That’s just a list of the downsides; the upsides are immeasurable joy, pride, and fulfillment, but day to day life seems to include both!) It has been amazing to connect to so many people who were also craving to hear that they are not alone. It’s ok to feel bored when you are spending what you imagined would be quality time with your children. Reading other people’s accounts of their experiences makes me feel connected, but also reinforces that being a mom is not just what women are by default. Many smart and successful women, clever writers, critical thinkers, and outrageous entertainers are sharing their thoughts with us online and we are so lucky to have them here. (Here being the blogosphere.)
Well stated, Tracey. We live in a world where we have so much less contact than we did in the past. The friends I have made through blogs (even those who don’t yet know they are my friends) have gotten me through some tough times. Sometimes it’s just nice to read that someone else is feeling the same as you about motherhood.
Excellent post Tracey. I love your words. So many of my favorite blogs-by-moms have already been named. But here’s a few more that I love:
Daring Young Mom
http://www.daringyoungmom.com/
Rocks in My Dryer
http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/
Blog con Queso
http://thequeso.com/
Upside Up
http://www.leapdesign.com/upsideup/
Tracey, thank you for an eloquent post full of the “real”. Yesterday after yet one more day of running from one doctor and therapists office to another and then to a hospital lab for and with my 3 boys, it was like a Godsend to come home and read my favorite mom blogs.
I’m in the world constantly, but for reasons necessitated by my boys special needs, connections in the real world happen all too quickly…almost as afterthoughts in passing. Blogging moms carry a power that they and most people have yet to realize. We are here. We are strong and influential…all the while nurturing and uplifting one another.
Thank you for such a spot-on post and for including Slurping Life.
Beautifully said! I enjoy reading momology.blogspot.com and barelycontrolledchaos.wordpress.com
I love maya’s mom, it is the best website around!!!! I have found so many wonderful friends and sisters and have found so much support and love from all the moms there….check it out…and also check out my blog at http://www.dragonfliesofchange.wordpress.com, and my business at http://www.beamonsemporium.com….
I stumbled on this post today.
I hope you won’t mind my sharing a
favorite Dad blog.
The New Parent: Raising Excellent Kids in an Insane World
http://thenewparent.blogspot.com/
Frank is an amazing and insightful ~ Dad.
And Noooooooooo we’re not related,
just blogger buds.
Tracy you are amazing. Love the books…they almost make me want to have a third…ALMOST. Thanks for the great gift idea though. YOU TOTALLY ROCK, as usual!
I am not a mother, but I’m a very good aunt.
Many of my friends are having their first babies.
I have great fun in helping them plan nurseries, etc.
One friend is in the sad and stressful position of having her first baby while her husband is undergoing some intense cancer treatments. She’s in another state, and I worry about them both.
I do wish I could be there for them.
here are links to two “mom blog” i like to visit.
They are not primarily about motherhood, rather they are more crafting blogs. I’ve noticed though that they talk about parenthood almost as much as crafts.
http://www.heatherbailey.typepad.com
http://www.angrychicken.typepad.com
Their writing is delightful.
My favorite blog is http://www.mymoneystory.blogspot.com/, which is my blog and I am a mom.
I’m not a blogger, but I am a mom, and I love reading the mom blogs. So many of my favorites have already been listed, but I really love reading Hank & Willie (http://hankandwillie.wordpress.com). Part photography blog and all mom blog, the writer is funny, honest and poignant about life with two toddler boys.
I also really like http://www.mooshinindy.com/ and http://captainhambone.typepad.com/not_that_you_asked/ two very funny moms.
I think I typed that URL wrong, it is
http://hankandwillie.wordpress.com/
What a perfectly awesome post! That’s exactly how I too, feel about the wonderful Mommy blog community.
Many of my favorite blogs have already been mentioned…but here are a couple to add to the list of must-reads!
http://barelycontrolledchaos.wordpress.com/
http://the-kraft-family.com/WordPress/
Wonderful. Yes, it is an amazing world out here in the mamasphere. Thanks for giving it some cred!
I had a business blog well before I had my mom/photo blog. Each provides different feedback, but I have to say, I love the Moms.
Terrific post! I haven’t been blogging that long, but I’ve been amazed at the sense of community. One of my favorite blogs is Slurping Life.
http://slurpinglife.typepad.com/slurping_life/
Melody can make you laugh and break your heart, all in the same post!
The act of creating my blog, and creating two-way communication with other Moms — and women — across the globe has had a profound healing in my life. I started blogging when my Mom passed away, and I no longer had anyone to talk to about my day. I started writing, people started listening and caring, and then I read their stories, and was touched, moved and connected.
Such a great post! I’m partial to http://www.adventuresinbabywearing.com
Hooray for mommy blogs. My favorite read is
daniellewoodbury.blogspot.com