Chronicle Books Blog

As you’ve undoubtedly heard — that is, if you’ve been talking to our mothers — we (Avery & Jory, authors of the bestselling All My Friends Are Dead, and more have a new humor book: K is for Knifeball: An Alphabet of Terrible Advice. We thought we’d use this opportunity to answer some Frequently Asked Questions. So, without any further ado, we present:

The K is for Knifeball FAQ!

HEY! WHAT EXACTLY IS A KNIFEBALL?
Good question, us! A knifeball is a knife affixed to a ball. Any type of knife or ball will do. Some winning combinations: butter-knife-bowling-ball, Swiss-Army-Super-Ball, broad-sword-marble. Anything goes, really.

HOW ARE THEY ATTACHED?
Generally by a strong sort of tape, although we’ve heard of more than one instance where wood-glue was substituted.

AND WHY DOES “K” STAND FOR “KNIFEBALL”?
It was between “knifeball” and “knifeknife.” Knifeball seemed more fun.

DON’T YOU THINK SOME OF THE ADVICE IN THIS BOOK — LIKE LOCKING YOURSELF IN A TRUNK OR SURPRISING A POLICE OFFICER WITH A TICKLE-FIGHT — MIGHT LEAD TO SOME BAD SITUATIONS?
What isn’t bad for you these days? You know? Try just breathing in the city. OK? Now that’s bad for you. Breathing in the city is a thousand times more dangerous than tickling a cop. [Note to our editors: can somebody fact-check this? We didn't know where, exactly, to look up this kind of statistic. We tried http://www.whatisworsebreathinginthecityorticklingacop.org, but that turned out to not be a thing, so instead we just searched for pictures of puppies wearing Santa hats and then took a nap.]

OKAY, WAIT. SO IS THIS A CHILDREN’S BOOK OR WHAT? HONESTLY? BE HONEST NOW.
Well, you know what they say…

WHAT? WHAT DO THEY SAY?
They say it’s definitely not a children’s book. Like, it looks like a children’s book, but the humor is edgy and there’s some dangerous advice that would almost certainly get a kid in trouble. Although, to be honest, we recently showed the book to some kids and they laughed and seemed to enjoy themselves and didn’t immediately tickle a cop. Use your best judgment.

IT SEEMS LIKE ALL OF YOUR BOOKS LOOK LIKE KIDS’ BOOKS BUT ARE REALLY FOR ADULTS.
Watch your tone.

OK. SO WHAT’S ANOTHER FUNNY JOKE FROM THE BOOK?
Like… give it away for free? How about we just give you one of the letters from the book. Here it is: R.

R, HUH?
Yes.

AND HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING, GENERALLY?
Like, mental-health wise?

SURE.
[Long pause]

GOTCHA. DO YOU HAVE ANY EVENTS COMING UP?
A few! We’ll be at New York University on October 11, The Library Shop at The New York Public Library on October 13 at 12:30, and Greenlight Bookstore on October 18. You can also find us at New York Comic Con on October 13. We’ll be signing at the Kinokuniya Bookstore booth, 1275, at 4pm. Be there! No? OK. Whatever makes you happy.

HOW ABOUT A FEW SPREADS FROM THE BOOK?
Fine, fine.

Whoops! That last one isn’t from the book. It’s just a picture of a puppy wearing a Santa hat. Pretty cute, though, huh? [Note to our editors: Is it too late to change the title of our book to "Puppies Wearing Santa Hats"? Let us know!]

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SAY?
You’re on Facebook! Join our group! And take this Knifeball Quiz! And follow us on Twitter @averymonsen and @joryjohn! That’s everything, hopefully. If there’s anything else, we’ll post it to our new blog, http://www.whatisworsebreathinginthecityorticklingacop.org/.

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We’re so excited to have Emma Koenig guest posting on the blog today! Emma is the author and F*ck! I’m in My Twenties and the creator of fuckiminmy20s.tumblr.com, and was recently featured in the in The New York Times. Read on for Emma’s post and head over to Facebook to download a F*ck I’m in My Twenties e-card!

In some ways, I feel like I’ve been working towards F*ck! I’m in My Twenties for my whole life.

Since I was a kid, I’ve been into documenting my experiences as a means of figuring them out. From a young age, I was obsessed with performing (a.k.a. worshiping at the altar of Bernadette Peters), so that was the form it usually took. I used to play on the tiny swing-set in my backyard and sing improvised operas about my life (e.g. “Today my daddy made me a sandwich and then I ate it!!”) for hours. So sorry, neighbors! Also, if I was having trouble understanding something, whether it was personal or academic, I would try to re-contextualize it. For example, in preparation for Biology tests in High School, I would sit at the kitchen table with my mom and explain concepts like cellular mitosis by personifying every aspect and narrating the journey (e.g. “So then the chromosomes are hungry and wanna talk about who they’re gonna ask to the Prom and they decide to meet up at the Metaphase Plate, which is a ‘Peach Pit’-esque diner where all the kids hang out..”)

In addition to analyzing through oral storytelling, I was always writing. Over the years, I have tried (and failed) to consistently keep journals. Despite never being able to stick to writing in a notebook daily, there is a long series of passionate attempts that typically petered out after a few months. Throughout my personal writing, there are usually images. I did some drawings and messed around with photography for a bit, but I tended to primarily create collages out of magazine cutouts and rubber cement. It’s insane how much time I spent on some of these, knowing full well that I didn’t want anyone else to see them.

But there were some things I wanted to share. I kept trying to create some kind of definitive “book” to help figure myself out. Yeah, that goal was vague to me, as well.

Back when I was a teenager, I was going through a rough phase (Or maybe this has been one never-ending rough phase…does it ever stop??) and was super unhappy. My junior year of High School, I made a scrapbook of photos, drawings, and handwritten commentary. I felt like by looking backward at how I got to this point, I could learn something about going forward. I happened to have the coolest creative writing teacher who let me do this as an independent study assignment (Thanks, Ms. Pollak!).

Also included in “the book” were all my previous experiments in making “the book”. Here’s one such effort I wrote when I was eleven:

Kind of eerily prophetic, eh? Except for the part about knowing the meaning of life by age 20.

Here is a portion of one of the pages from the scrapbook, which includes a journal entry from 1994!:

100% accurate self-portrait.

Here is another excerpt:

It’s definitely odd to reflect upon 16 year old me reflecting upon 3 year old me. Maybe it’s impossible to return to the carefree days of childhood (because they haven’t invented the technology…yet), but instead of hiding from being in my twenties, I am embracing what is uncomfortable about it. (Ok, sometimes “embracing” means “complaining”, but I’m working on it! Give me a few years!)

I don’t think it’s as simple as “WRITE AND MAKE ART AND STUFF AND IT’LL BE JUST DANDY!!”, but I know that exploring self-reflection, in whatever form feels natural, can help make things feel a little better.

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Enter an original caption in the Porn for Women Caption Contest for your chance to win a bouquet of flowers today (a winner will be chosen every day during the month of December)!

Visit WannaSnuggle.com for more information.

While you’re at it, send a Porn for Women e-postcard to a friend!

Cheers,
Hannah Cox
Entertainment Marketing Manager

I know there are those of you out there that are crazy MAD magazine fans. You know who you are…

Well, we recently released the The MAD Magazine Poster Book. It has been selling like hot cakes! We’re out of stock on the poster book right now but will have more in stock in early December.

In the meantime, we want to know how mad you are for MAD.

Respond (detailing your MAD obsession, the boxes of issues still under your bed, about blacking out your tooth for a year as a kid, etc.) to this blog post for a chance to win Spy vs. Spy Book Ends (valued at $295.00)!!*

And, as an additional perk, the first 200 folks who order the The MAD Magazine Poster Book from us will get Issue #166 as a gift with purchase. In April 1974, MAD published its infamous “Finger” cover. Rejected by many newsstand dealers across the country, the issue saw limited distribution. Resulting in horrible sales, and one very depressed publisher. And with returns of this now rare and collectible issue pouring in, MAD’s publisher William M. Gaines sent several boxes of the issue to the MAD vault where they remained, undistributed and forgotten, until last year when the vault was emptied. Now is your chance, people, to get your hands on your very own copy of this legendary issue. (It will be sent to you with a Certificate of Authenticity to boot). Order today!

Madly yours,
Hannah Cox
Entertainment Marketing Manager

*We’ll pick the maddest of you on December 12th and notify the winner of the Spy vs. Spy Book Ends!

You may have noticed that politicians’ looks come under A LOT of scrutiny. Eyeglasses, dresses, lapel pins, and haircuts have spawned whole newspaper articles and fashion movements. For those politicians (and all you politician wannabes) out there who need a makeover, this one’s for you.

HOW TO GIVE YOURSELF A POLITICAL MAKEOVER

Excerpted from The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac: Politics

By Dave Borgenicht & Turk Regan

1. Audit your appearance.
Take a long, hard look at yourself. Ask trusted colleagues and family members to evaluate how you look and take notes on your strengths and weaknesses. Your physical appearance delivers the first and most lasting impression of you as a person and politician to voters. If voters are not responding to your message, it may be because your appearance is either distracting from or working against the impression you wish to give. Your hair, wardrobe, facial expressions, and body language are all interpreted as measures of your abilities and aptitude.

2. Neutralize negative features.
Do not seek to turn every aspect of your appearance into a shining asset or you will risk overcompensating in a way that can draw still more attention to your flaws. Seek to deflect attention from what is a given (height, weight, ugliness) and change what you can.

3. Establish a core look.
Select signature clothing styles, personal details, or physical mannerisms that will form the foundation of the new political identity you wish to convey. Translate your desired impression into a fashion statement: decisive leadership (loud, colored accessories), steadfast and reliable (a sober hairstyle), someone who gets things done (shirtsleeves rolled up or hair pulled back), or the friendliest candidate (calculatedly unpolished.)

4. Accessorize.
Use different fashion accessories to adjust your core look to the variety of events and locations you encounter. A hat, a clipboard, or a hot dog can complement, not compete, with your basic look.

5. Avoid trends.
Resist the temptation to adopt trendy fashions and hairstyles, which may make you momentarily popular with younger voters, but risk giving the impression that you spend too much time refining your appearance rather than considering substantive issues, or tagging your candidacy to a fashion look that may not last very long or suit you very well.

6. Blunt your sexiness.
While being attractive is an advantage in politics, being sexy can seem threatening. Voters want candidates who are easy on the eyes, but not hot.

7. Mirror success.
If you are unsure what look to adopt, consider the style and appearance details of successful candidates with whom you are not directly competing and copy his or her look.

What’s the best political makeover you’ve witnessed? Leave a comment for a chance to win The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac: Politics!

Hannah Cox
Marketing Manager