With the East Coast Blizzard of ‘09 two days behind us, we at Worst-Case are dearly wishing we had a Flux Capacitor-ready Delorean to let us post this last week. Hint hint, Santa. For next time though - when life tries to imitate a Roland Emmerich film, the best bet is always to stay home. But if you’re forced onto the road, keep the following in mind:
“How to Drive in a Blizzard” [via The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays]
- Keep windows clear - Use the heater, wipers, and defroster to keep windows clear and free of condensation.Do not let the car get too warm, however—the heat may put you to sleep.
- At night, use low-beam headlights - High-beams will reflect off the snow, making it more difficult to see.
- Drive in high gear - Do not downshift. Use as high a gear as possible for maximum traction and to avoid skids on snowy and icy roads.
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Tags: blizzard, roland emmerich, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays
The Holidays are a time of togetherness, family, goodwill and giving - in other words, the perfect time for broke college students to hit up the rents for extra money. So if your high-flying Fall semester was a tad too pricey for your part-time, low income/high relaxation summer job, follow these tips to the letter once exams are over:
“How to Ask Your Parents for Money” [via The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: College]
- Focus on one parent - Ask the parent you think is most likely to dole out funds. Hearken back to childhood by using the parent’s favorite term of endearment, such as “Mommy” or “Pop.”
- Make the request in person - Request money during a trip home. “Reluctantly” bring up the subject and look extremely embarrassed to be asking for a handout.
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Tags: College, Holidays, money
The new year is right around the corner, and to help start off 2010 on the right foot we’re giving away TEN essential volumes in the Worst-Case collection! One lucky winner will take home each of the following:
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Weddings
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Work
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating & Sex
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel
The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac: Politics
The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide: Meetings
The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide: NYC
The Worst-Case Scenario Game of Surviving Life
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So it’s mid-December, temperatures are tumbling and for many of us, snow has started to fall. Winter is here, and with it are many treacherous worst-case scenarios for us to navigate. We’ve already discussed the dangerous lurking this Holiday season, but today’s lesson might come in handy all the way up to the 2010 Spring thaw. So if your town is already a Winter Wonderland, consult these tips before going all X-Games at your local park.
“How to Survive a Runaway Sled” [via The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays]
- Quickly survey the topography - If you are sledding in a wide-open field with few obstacles and no danger of a precipice, stay on the sled and ride it out. The sled will eventually stop once you reach level ground.
- Slow the sled using emergency steering and braking - Steer the sled side to side to slow it down. Drag your feet (if feet first) or hands and feet (if head first) to slow the sled or to steer.
- Redirect the sled - Turn the sled onto a course that traverses the hill, if possible. Gradually try to turn uphill to lose speed. An abrupt turn could send you flipping out of control.
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Tags: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays, winter, X-Games
We’re midway through the “eating season” and if your family is anything like mine, the pumpkin pies, peanut butter cup cookies and eggnog are starting to show. Good thing New Year’s resolutions are right around the corner. Until then, Worst-Case is here to help you fake it:
“How to Fit Into Clothing That is Too Tight” [via The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays]
For Men
- Wear newer shirts and pants - Garments (especially shirts) that have been laundered repeatedly are smaller than their original sizes. These items may also have loose buttons that might be ejected during a meal.
- Choose dark-colored garments - Lighter colors are less forgiving visually, while darker colors tend to obscure bulges.
- Move your collar button - Many men carry extra weight in the neck and jowls. Remove and reattach your collar button, moving it to the very edge of the collar tab. Wear a standard tie (not a bowtie) to hide the alteration.
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Tags: overweight, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays
Who would have thought a simple fender bender could turn into the media disaster that is the Tiger Woods saga? As mistresses continue to come out of the woodwork, Congressional medals are revoked & advertisers grow wary, things don’t seem to be getting any better for golf’s reigning superstar. Though I’d certainly never defend his actions, I can’t help but wonder where Tiger would be if he’d just followed a little Worst-Case wisdom once the jig was up:
“If You are Caught” [via The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex]
- Do not deny your guilt - Admit your indiscretion immediately. Dissembling only makes matters worse.
- Decide immediately whether or not you want to continue the affair - You will have to be clear about your choice. Ask yourself if you would rather continue with the lover or with your partner. Be honest with yourself and act accordingly.
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Tags: Cheating, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex, Tiger Woods
While some of us might use the Holidays for a little seasonal slacking, those in the retail workforce are rarely as lucky. Always guaranteed to be the “busy season,” the 2009 numbers are already showing a bump from last year’s recession-weakened traffic. According to the National Retail Federation, 195 million shoppers hit stores or Web sites over the crucial Thanksgiving weekend, way up from 172 million last year. To our retail sales clerk readers, here’s some advice from Worst-Case that might help you keep your sanity:
“Retail Sales Clerk Survival Tips” [via The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Life]
Monotonous Music Loop
Enlist your co-workers to plant “earworms” in each others’ heads by naming songs that stick in mind due to their insidiously catchy melodies. Especially infectious songs include: “Y.M.C.A.” by the Village People, “Who Let the Dogs Out,” by Baha Men, and “It’s a Small World After All.”
Sale Scrum
Angle your body sideways to slide between shoppers and move to the edge of the crowd. Try to keep a merchandise rack between yourself and the sought-after items. If you are caught in the mob, keep your arms folded defensively across your chest to protect your breathing area. Stay on your feet or you risk being trampled.
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Tags: Holidays, retail, shopping, The-Worst-Case-Scenario-Survival-Handbook-LIFE/
Not to throw a wet blanket on anyone’s holiday cheer, but December is a dangerous month! Rushing from one place to the next, when we’re not stampeding the malls for seasonal deals we’ve still got parties to attend, family sit-downs to survive and flights to catch. Not to mention the cooking, eating and drinking that can be as risky for your kitchen as it is for your waistline. I’d have to say, thought, the one tradition that presents the most eminent risk of an ER visit has to be holiday decorating. In fact, according to MedicineNet.com approximately 1,300 people are treated each year in emergency departments for injuries related to holiday lights. So before you start, lay off the eggnog and be sure to read these tips:
“How to Survive a Fall From a Ladder” [via The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays]
- Anticipate the fall - As soon as you feel the ladder or stepstool move or you begin to lose your balance, be ready to shift your position. You will have less than a second to react.
- Do not grab at any fixtures or decorations - Lighting fixtures, decorations, hooks, and wires will not support your body weight—just prepare for impact.
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The Holiday season can be a harrowing one for new couples. Beyond the simple stress of buying the perfect gift, many are faced with a relationship game-changer: meeting the parents. So if you’ve even got a little bit of Gaylord Focker in ya, and you’re sweating that first sit down with the in-laws to be, be sure to commit the following tips to memory:
“How to Survive Meeting the Parents” [via The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex]
- Pay attention to your surroundings - If you are prone to spilling things or tripping over rugs, move slowly and carefully. Present an image of confidence and poise.
- Greet them with a firm, but brief, handshake - A weak handshake is a turnoff, but so is squeezing too hard. Shake hands so that the entire hand is clasped. Let go of the hand after a few pumps. Maintain eye contact.
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Today is Cyber Monday, red letter day number two in the seasonal frenzy of discounts, mall stampedes and cheap tweets. For those of use that avoided the pandemonium of Black Friday, today we can all just point and click away in the privacy of our homes. But the biggest deal doesn’t always make for the best present. So we offer the Worst-Case tips for “How to Deal with a Bad Gift.” Because socks are still socks, even at 80% off.
“How to Deal with a Bad Gift” [via The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays]
- Do not lie - If you receive a gift you simply detest, do not complicate the situation by lying. Do not praise the gift and say that you’ve always wanted one: The giver may later wonder why you are not using the gift or why it is not displayed in your home—or you may get something similar next year. If you receive an awful sweater, say something neutral like, “I love sweaters.” If the giver is still not convinced that you like the present, try it on; you may also be able to offer another partially true compliment: “What a perfect fit!” If you receive as a gift something you already own, you do not need to advise the giver. Say,“I love this [thing]. How did you know?”
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Tags: cyber monday, Holidays, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays
Author Dave Borgenicht and the Worst-Case team are here to help prepare you, and you, and you(!) out there in webland for anything. Need to land a plane? Fending off a shark attack? Graduating and facing “what next?!”? We’re here, for you.
