What Kind of Mama Are You?
Celebrated doula, healer, yoga teacher, and parenting coach Lori Bregman wrote Mamaste to be a holistic guide to being a more balanced, authentic, and joyful mother. She introduces the “five expressions of motherhood”—Action Mama, Flow Mama, Rebel Mama, Vulnerable Mama, and Free Mama—and offers supportive advice, exercises, meditations, and yoga practices to cultivate a healthy balanced life and stronger bonds. Take the quiz below.
Mama Type Quiz
How to do it: Please read through the following paired statements and choose the one that is the truest for you. If the statements don’t resonate perfectly for you, please choose the one that feels close enough, or that happens most of the time. It’s good to be relaxed and in the moment when taking the assessment, and try not to overthink it!
After you have a disagreement with someone, you don’t hold a grudge. D
People ask you for things because they know you will always do it. B
Everybody wants you on the planning committee for their fundraiser because you know how to get shit done. A
When it comes to raising your children, the more people to help guide you, the merrier. C
When trying to make decisions, you look to outside sources to seek your answers rather than looking within. C
It’s hard for people to get to know the real you because you guard your feelings carefully. D
Your family vacations are planned with an hour-by-hour itinerary. A
Reality is overrated. D
Being creative is how you express yourself. E
You tend to sweep your emotions under the carpet instead of dealing with them. D
Your own needs are usually at the bottom of your to-do list. B
Making mistakes makes you cringe. A
You have a unique perspective. E
Like a chameleon, you can fit in just about anywhere. B
Because you’re so capable, people expect a lot from you. A
People often come to you for your ability to see the big picture with a thousand-foot view. E
If an opportunity to join a mom’s group or take a parenting class comes your way, you are the first to sign up. C
You let things go easily in order to avoid conflict. B
Your to-do lists guide your life. A
You don’t often worry about the outcome of the situation. D
Following the rules makes you cringe. E
You’re happy to play a supportive role to an established leader. B
You are a master of multi-tasking. A
You do you and live your own way without caring about what others think. E
You know who you are and are not a pushover. E
You tend to think your way through life instead of feeling it out. A
You roll your eyes and want to punch someone when another mom tells you how you should parent your child. E
When you’re socializing with fellow moms, you love to pick their brains about parenting techniques and how they’re handling motherhood. C
Within a week of getting a positive pregnancy test, you hired an entire birthing team and researched everything about pregnancy, birth, and parenting choices. A
You let your doctor guide your pregnancy choices and were happy to take advice from friends and family along the way. B
If a person of authority tells you to do something, your instinct is to do the opposite. E
When it comes to big decisions, you will poll any- and everyone you possibly can to get their opinion. C
You often find yourself lying in bed at night worrying about what might happen in the future. C
You don’t allow yourself to get hurt emotionally very often. D
Other moms might view you as a lone wolf. E
You ask for and accept help easily. C
You prefer to be liberated from the complications of life. D
Organizing is your favorite hobby. A
It’s hard to get you to change your opinion. E
You transition with ease and adjust to what’s happening around you. B
There is nothing like a little competition to ignite the fire in you to win. A
If you are having a hard time get- ting it all done, you don’t hesitate to ask for help. C
When you believe in something, you are not easily swayed by other opinions. E
When shit gets too real, you’d prefer not to deal. D
In a perfect world, someone else would take on all of your responsibility for you. C
When it comes to favors or requests, you often say yes when you really mean no. B
When out with friends, you’d prefer to talk about the latest fashion trends than the state of the world. D
You’d rather have a root canal than get into a confrontation. B
If there is an issue at your child’s school, you are not afraid to lead the fight to right the wrong that is happening. E
You tend to keep things light and on the surface when communicating with people. D
You often use “Dr. Google,” and the information you find causes you to panic with uncontrollable fear. C
Drama is for the movies, not your life. B
Your own instincts don’t seem reliable enough; you would rather trust someone else’s advice. C
You prefer to do things by your- self because no one will handle it as well as you can. A
You have a childlike sense of wonder. C
You have a hard time staying present in the moment. D
You disconnect from your body and numb out (overeating, over-drinking, overworking, etc.) to avoid feeling pain. D
You often feel depleted because you can’t say no; you’re constantly doing things for others and overextending yourself. B
You tend to get agitated when things don’t go as planned. A
It’s great to be included in others’ plans because all the details are already managed, so you can enjoy the ride. B
Now tally up the number of letters:
A: B: C: D: E:
Remember, the highest score indicates your primary mama expression, but you’ll also score in the other expressions, even if it’s very low. It is possible to have two or three expressions tie as the highest score, which means you are well balanced between these expressions. You’ll read much more about all five expressions in the following chapters, but here’s a brief overview of each:
Action Mamas are excellent planners, incredible leaders, and know how to get shit done. They are take-charge women, but they’re also prone to planning and solving things too much, leaving little space for anything else to unfold.
Flow Mamas may seem effortlessly easy-breezy and able to adapt to anything without frustration. But all this “going with the flow” often comes at the expense of the Flow Mama herself. She can have a hard time expressing needs and preferences when she does have them, and sometimes she allows herself to be talked into things that aren’t comfortable, simply to avoid confrontation.
The Vulnerable Mama harnesses her natural curiosity and openness, seeks out extra attention and support, and wisely uses “the village” to help her raise her family. But without grounding forces, the Vulnerable Mama can spiral into her own anxieties and fears, and start spinning out of control.
The Free Mama isn’t super attached to outcomes, which lets her approach tasks and opportunities without worrying about the future. She may have unresolved trauma, and often her strategy for dealing with difficulties is to plow right through, doing whatever she needs to make it through the day.
Strong, forward-thinking, and often blazing her own unique path, the Rebel Mama beats to her own drum and does things on her terms—standing up for what she believes in even if she stands alone. While the Rebel Mama is already able to confidently express her authenticity, she can struggle with feeling rushed or pushed to make a decision before she’s ready to get there.
Are you surprised by the results or are they pretty much what you assumed? This is an attitudinal assessment, not a personality assessment, which means that the results can change over time, especially when you deepen your consciousness and make shifts in your focus and behavior. Once you see where you are, you can start to use this book as your guide. You may also notice where to pull up and integrate more of one expression or back off and soften another. The beauty of living in Mamaste is that we are all one. The mother in me is the mother in you. Take a deep cleansing breath as you step forward into a world of greater balance, wholeness, and harmony.
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Filled with nurturing advice, Mamaste is essential for any expecting or new parent. Find it here.
What Kind of Mama Are You?May 9th, 2019
Go it Alone: Plan a Safe Solo HikeMarch 28th, 2019
Finally: An Astrology Guide for Modern TimesMarch 22nd, 2019
10 Ways to Get Your Entire Family Hooked on BooksJanuary 24th, 2019
How to Be Respectfully Culturally CuriousNovember 13th, 2018